The Laws of Attraction
I’ve often been asked by friends, family and fan following: Who do you picture when you describe the heroes in your books? Or another frequent favourite: Who do you consider the sexiest man alive? Which in turn prompted me to open a link sent by the Creative Director of DHP with a list of the men voted The Sexiest Man Alive. It was an impressive list, none whose victory surprised me in the least. I liked, I discovered to my fascination, all of them, but not in equally measured parts. The aforementioned CD likes Bradley Cooper, BTW, but enough said on the subject. Hey – I like BC, don’t get me wrong. But he’s not my fav-fav. However, the most intriguing question posed to me were not the two that I’ve mentioned above. I was tossed a doozy – what do women want – Brains or Brawn?
While these queries sent me into a dizzying tizzy of introspection of my own predilections, I meandered down a path of self-discovery, unearthing hidden gems of insights that only women will appreciate. What if I said, ladies out there, that it’s neither?
Before I ponder over the other questions, such as who I picture as a hero, or what I find sexy, the most important of the questions is – what really governs the laws of attraction?
Is it chemistry? Serendipity? Physical attraction? Humour? Facets of character? Habits? Bad boys? Relatability? Kyra, who’s a dear friend a very close to my heart wrote a splendid piece on soul mates. When going over the list who were voted, and therefore having gained the stamp of approval from millions of women, physical appearance seemed to be the predominant force. The laws of attraction, therefore, must be governed predominantly but that which we perceive with our five, nay six, senses – eyes, ears, smell, touch (is there where brawn figures?), sound and our very own woman’s intuition and back to Kyra’s serendipity. Which is why, when I write about my heroes, I include literally everything. They are, and have to be, the Total Package. Insofar as brawns vs brains – they need to have both and plus, a good sense of humour, the ability to dance, the inclination to cook and excel at it, sensitivity to my feelings, have a deep gravelly voice, preferably with the ability to sing, passion (and therefore anger is allowed so long as it doesn’t descend to the physical), the art of lovemaking, generosity and of course, smell really, really good.
Of the list I reviewed, you might find my choice surprising. It’s Patrick Swayze and I’ll tell you why. After watching Dirty Dancing a zillion times and listening to his heart-melting She’s Like the Wind, I was left wondering why he didn’t do more albums. And ladies, he can dance like a dream and can fight like a Kung-fu master. Just to repeat, I like all the men on the list right down to Michael B Jordan who I first saw in an episode of Lie to Me.
However, the biggest and most surprising factoid that I’ve got to acknowledge is that the reality of attraction is – it’s amazing that none of the factors mentioned seem to matter where the heart is concerned. If you don’t believe me, just watch programs like Judge Judy or Dr Phil, particularly the parade of couples traipsing through the show who are purportedly in love with each other. You’ll find men and women of all colours, shapes, sizes, mental capacity (or incapacity), smell, dodgy criminal history, bad habits … I could go on and on. If only men who resembled my heroes or those from HPLandia were attractive to women, then the world’s population would be much, much smaller and the majority of men would never find a woman.
Sigh. With a saddened heart I bid you goodbye, but only for the moment.
Hope you’ve enjoyed reading this as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it. Talk soon.
Ravina