Let me get this one controversy out of the way and we can get a move on. It’s not that I’m afraid of dragging on an argument, but the topic’s a bit like marmite – you either buy into it or you don’t. Instant love. It happens. I know because it happened to me. To those who aren’t that fortunate, or aren’t quite wired that way, I say this: you don’t have to have something happen to you for you to believe in it. When it can happen in real life, why isn’t it believable in real life or reel life? It depends on the audience. If you want to know why (or at least, what I think), read on. If you don’t care about instant love, and like marmite, makes you want to wretch, well, the choice is yours. I’m not trying to prove anything mind, nor convince anyone of anything, just trying to analyse reactions, emotions, feelings and well, what we believe and why.
There are various theories, from factual science to fantasy – the stuff legends and myths are made of. Let’s start with chemistry – that’s the word that’s survived generations, hasn’t it? Some believe that it’s all about chemicals firing up the brain, studies showing brain activity linking it to cocaine users, others classifying stages of love, with sitcoms and romcoms spouting theory as though it’s fact. Bollocks! It’s not that I’m saying that these chemicals don’t exist nor am I arguing that theories are true or false. All I’m saying is that people who believe in instant love, don’t believe it because of scientific theories. It’s the romance that attracts them, not their dopamine levels. It’s not a craving for sweaty palms, hammering hearts, sleepless nights or even lustful thoughts that’s the attraction. It’s the belief that you can fall in love, but even more importantly, that someone can fall in love with you.
“Love happens, I truly believe because there’s something indescribable within us that responds to that indescribable within the other. It’s not chemistry. It’s not fate.”
Nor do they believe in it for serendipitous ones. By the way, I’ll let you in on a secret. I believe in fate and destiny, but not to the extent that I believe we have no free will. I won’t even tempt fate (no pun intended) by resorting to mathematical formulae ascribing percentages or probabilities – I heard someone tell me the other day that astrology is a science, which is measured in probability, much like the position of an electron around an atom. Well, really! I never. Yes, there is a certain element of serendipity associated with falling in love. After all, when two people meet in a chance encounter, much like my own personal love affair of twenty-six years, there has to be some element of destiny involved, right? My partner and I met in a location alien to both of us, me having travelled hundreds of miles and my partner having travelled literally thousands of miles traversing two continents to find me. In a chance encounter, no less. But that story is for another day. All I’m suggesting is that those who believe in instant love don’t necessarily subscribe to fate alone deciding if it’s going to happen to them.
“What then of those who don’t believe in instant love?” – Question here for the readers. Do you believe in instant love?
What then of those who don’t believe in instant love? By the way, I was inspired to write this blog partly by reviewers who like ‘Billionaire Boss, Undercover Affair’ despite, they said, them not believing in instalove. No, that’s not a word. Not even hyphenated. I know because I had to add it to the dictionary. Is it because they don’t believe in fate? Or they don’t appreciate the science?
I’ll tell you what I think. I believe people believe in parts of it, but not the whole. There’s instant attraction – perhaps one can use the ugly four-letter word lust. That’s a chemical reaction too, the scientist will argue. Then there is that intense emotion that comes from knowing someone for days, weeks, months, even years by which time an affection develops till one cannot live without the other. Then there’s the part that manifests itself in true companionship – perhaps recognised negatively when the significant other is not around, and one simply misses their presence. I refuse to believe that those who do not believe in instant love don’t believe in love at all. Scientists, of course, might argue otherwise, quote statistics and spout theories stemming from said statistics. I’m tempted, by the way, to go on a rant about medical tests and postulates built upon statistical evidence, not medical discoveries. But not today.
No scientist in the world has been able to successfully articulate why a person might like a blonde or a brunette or a redhead. Or why some people like coffee and others tea. Or why some like chocolate, others strawberry. I can go on and on. Everyone’s belief system is unique to them, perhaps moulded by their experiences, even influenced genetically but there is that je-ne-sais-quoi element that is unique to each one of us. If you like, call it a manifestation of a soul.
Perhaps I ought to have titled this blog Serendipitous Souls, not Hearts. There are those who describe their loved ones as soulmates. Those that agree with me will understand that that word – soulmate – unwittingly hits the nail on the head.
Whether instant, filtered or otherwise, whether it takes a second to register or weeks and months to acknowledge, love happens, I truly believe because there’s something indescribable within us that responds to that indescribable within the other. It’s not chemistry. It’s not fate.
Let’s just call it souls meeting and leave it at that. Have you read about an American couple who met via email (I’m talking about the late seventies when email was accessible only to those who used mainframes) and fell in love without ever having seen the other? They’re still married, by the way. Ask a scientist to explain what oestrogen has to do with email. I defy you.
Like Miles defied Susan.
I hope you have read my first few books, ‘Billionaire Boss, Undercover Affair,’ ‘An Uneasy Alliance,’ ‘The Italian Billionaire’s Kidnapped Mistress,’ and ‘The Billionaire Romances a Star.’ Believe it or not, I’ve already written another ten books ready for copyediting and another dozen or so plots ready to be written. I am currently writing a sequel to an unpublished book, but more of that later. If you’ve read any of my books, let me know what you think.
If you haven’t, then try one. Each caters to different tastes, so please do read the synopsis before you venture forth. ‘An Uneasy Alliance’ is slightly old-fashioned with a modern twist, for example. While Miles is a darling, Tate is much rougher around the edges. Alfonso kidnaps a woman so you have to accept that love can spring from a cataclysmic event like that and Leo is well … you’ll have to read his story and how he looks at Olivia across a crowded room and falls instantly in love with her and decide if it’s feasible. Sorry if I’ve rambled a bit, but that’s me, I suppose.